


Some fucking peace and quiet

by Callie_Girl



Series: Chas and his two dumbass kids [1]
Category: Constantine (TV), Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-13 02:35:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18023153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callie_Girl/pseuds/Callie_Girl
Summary: If there was going to be an interdimensional crisis, of course, it would be on break day.





	Some fucking peace and quiet

**Author's Note:**

> So, during the JLU episode called The Balance, the Leagues magick users were greatly affected when Felix Faust took the throne of Hell. I wondered if anyone outside the League was affected, so here we are.

Yeah, Chas should be so lucky.  
One day. He made John take one day off per month. This particular month, he decided to make sure John hadn’t snuck out. He checked to make sure everything was where it should be in the library, then went up the stairs to John’s room.  
Halfway there, he was gripped by a sense of unease. Something was terribly wrong-  
He ran up the rest of the stairs and down the hall, tripping over his own feet as he heard John screaming. He tried the doorknob to John’s room.  
Locked.  
“John!” he shouted, pounding on the door. “JOHN!”  
John shouted something unintelligible. Chas kicked at the door, feeling the wood splinter a bit. He repeated it again and again, John’s screams giving him the strength he didn’t know he had.  
The door flew in with a final kick, and he was greeted with the sight of John on the floor, clutching his head and screaming.  
Zed appeared in the doorway, wondering what was going on.  
“Call Doctor Fate!” Chas ordered. She nodded, grabbing John’s phone and clicking the contact.  
It went to voicemail.  
Chas considered slapping John, but he didn’t want to hurt his friend, especially when he was fairly certain John wasn’t in hysterics.  
Zed tried contact after contact; Zatanna, Jason Blood, Deadman… all went straight to voicemail.  
John convulsed, almost hitting his head on one of the bed legs.  
Okay, screw this.  
Chas picked John up.  
“Zed, call an ambulance. Tell them to meet us on the road!”  
She didn’t respond.  
“Zed!”  
She collapsed, groaning, hand going to her head.  
Chas set John on the bed, kneeling in front of Zed.  
“Zed, what’s wrong?”  
“Htorf dna kcab gniws lleh fo setag eht!” she groaned  
Was that Latin?  
Chas looked between the screaming warlock and the groaning psychic.  
Of course. Only on their resting day.

He wound up drugging both of them, sending them into uneasy sleep so he could get some peace while he tried to figure out what was happening. He was busy pouring over an ancient textbook when the phone rang.  
It was Doctor Fate.  
He picked it up and, leaving no time for pleasantries, interrupted whoever was on the other end. “Fate, we’ve got a real mess. John and Zed-”  
“Chas?” that did not sound like Doctor Fate. “It’s Diana. The League mystics have been put under some sort of spell-”  
“Well, John can’t help.” he didn’t mean to be impatient with the Amazon princess, but this was dire. “He’s been screaming something for god knows how long.”  
“That’s the same problem with our people. I was checking to see if the same happened to you guys.”  
Chas sighed. “Yep. Any ideas on what caused it?”  
“One. I’ll get back to you soon.” she hung up, leaving Chas more confused than ever. So this wasn’t just a problem with Zed and John?  
Was that that Zed had grumbled? Htorf dna kcab gniws lleh fo setag eht?  
He wrote it down. There was something familiar about it…’He wrote it in reverse.  
The gates of Hell swing back and forth.  
Oh, God.  
Well, he mused, that was the wrong term. Oh Satan, more like.  
He zapped his wrist with a rubber band. Now was not the time for jokes. There was trouble in anti-paradise.

He put up new wardings, hoping to at least put a dent in the pain of the scales becoming unbalanced. He also made sure to leave a sandwich for both Zed and John on their respective nightstands. Nutella for John, turkey and pepperoni for Zed.  
He would never understand their tastes in sandwiches.  
He made himself a more normal peanut-butter and jelly one, eating it quickly and cleaning up.  
He felt like a mom.  
He turned around to see Zed in the doorway, clutching a blanket around her shoulders.  
“You look like hell,” Chas remarked, because it was true.  
“I feel like hell. Thanks for the sandwich.”  
“You’re welcome. Need anything?”  
“Tylenol, or something. Got a headache.”  
“Chas…” John was awake. He was in even worse condition.  
“Hey, buddy. I’ll be right with you.” he grabbed a Tylenol for Zed, and a glass of Pepsi, which he found to help with headaches. She took both gratefully, going back to her room. Now for John.  
“What do you need, pal?” Chas asked.  
“Need a drink.”  
Chas felt so bad he would let John have whatever. “What kind?”  
John paused, thinking. “You got any more of that soda?”  
Things were dire.  
“Of course,” Chas got John a glass of the stuff. “Did you eat?”  
John shook his head. “Feeling nauseous.”  
“That might be from not eating, bud.”  
John frowned. “Really?”  
“Yeah. How about we try something easy, like crackers?  
“Alright, mate.”  
Chas grabbed some saltines from the stash. He kept a stash of easy-to-eat foods like marshmallows, crackers, and apple chips for when John was immersed in his studies. Chas would push them over on a plate and John would eat without a second thought.  
As John nibbled on the crackers, Chas asked, “How bad do you feel, 1-10?”  
John considered. “Eight.”  
Funny thing about John was that Chas had never seen him at a ten. Even when Astra had died, he said “nine.” To be honest, Chas was a little scared of what ten might look like.  
“Are you feeling better than earlier?”  
“Definitely, mate.”  
So the warding had worked. He debated whether or not to tell John what was happening, but decided that John wouldn’t be able to go anywhere without the warding.  
“Wonder Woman called. Apparently, she has an idea as to what’s happening, and she’s working on stopping it.”  
To his surprise, John didn’t immediately jump up to go to hell. He just nodded and kept eating his crackers. … Okay…  
“Are you okay, John?”  
John sighed. “M fine.”  
Okay, so maybe John was in better condition than Chas thought. “Johnathan Ezekiel Constantine-”  
“That’s not my bloody name-”  
“We all know you aren’t okay, so be like Elsa-”  
“What the fuck-”  
“And stop concealing, not feeling, and not letting it show-”  
“Jesus Christ.” Chas had completely stunned John. “How about you be like bloody Elsa and fucking let it go?”  
“Well, look where that got Arandelle-”  
This promptly evolved into a heated argument about Frozen, which only stopped when Zed yelled at them. Chas noted that they were both getting better, so maybe the League had figured things out. Only took them five fucking hours.  
John tried and failed to suppress a yawn, and glared when he saw that Chas had noticed. “Now Chas-”  
“Save it. You need sleep, dumbass.”  
“I think the fuck not!”  
Chas tried to grab John, but John ducked away. This soon devolved into Chas chasing John around the table. It went on for about five minutes (neither was taking this very seriously) until Chas took John down with a spectacular flying tackle that would’ve put him on the NFL. John huffed as he was dragged up the stairs, trying to break free. But Chas was stronger and eventually wrestled John to the bed, holding him down.  
“M fine, you bastard!” John protested.  
“Do not make me drug you again!”  
John sighed, relenting. Chas lay next to him, pulling John close and keeping one arm wrapped around the warlock’s midsection to prevent escape. John hissed at him like a cat, but didn’t struggle.  
In fact, it surprised Chas how quickly the smaller man fell asleep.


End file.
